A message for today

Although my time has largely been committed these past few months to things that have not allowed me to enjoy many interactions with you, my friends, it is your support and the wise words so many of you write that help me maintain the perspective that their is still good in this world.


On this Christmas day, may you be filled with the blessing of joy and peace.

Merry Christmas,
Roger

Not to blame, not to strike, to live restrained under the law, to be moderate in eating, to sleep and sit alone, and to dwell on the highest thoughts--this is the teaching of the Awakened. "Buddha"

Winter's lesson

Mother nature forced me to pause for a few days to dig out from recent storms that left close to two feet of snow and a need for a lot of shoveling. I welcomed the respite from months of speaking and travel to just enjoy this winter wonderland in all its beauty. Nature always has a way of reminding me how important it is to take in her wonder and return me to a more calm self.

Winter storms have a way of slowing the pace of life as our list of "need to accomplish" becomes impossible, leaving us to be with what is. Often it takes a forced break from our everyday hustle and bustle for us to realize that we have not been spending enough time with ourselves. Soon enough the roads are cleared and we are once again be faced with all the distractions conspiring to prevent us from living in the present moment. For me, I hope this chilly reminder will allow me to see things as they are.

As I left to rejoin the world today it did not take long for my mind to become wrapped up in the day's events and issues. The thermometer read -14 degrees as I left for the office, thankful that the heater in the truck was narrowly winning the battle for comfort. Just before arriving at the office, I was once again offered a little reminder of the greatness of nature when I spotted a coyote chasing a squirrel who narrowly escaped becoming breakfast as it scurried up a tree. The coyote was nice enough to pause for a picture before moving on to look for another meal.

May we each be reminded that no matter how bad we believe things are, there is still greatness in the world waiting for us to experience it. Our journey in this life is short leaving us to choose the things that matter the most.

Political divide

As a Nation, we have allowed ourselves to be divided along political lines to the point that debate has been replaced by hateful rhetoric. Once we identify ourselves with a particular ideology we often select the information sources that reinforce the idea that the “other” side is just plain wrong. We stop looking deeply at issues believing that the information we gather through so called news services lets us stay current on the events of the day.

This fact is well understood by our political leaders who work hard to perpetuate this division allowing them to stop short of providing the facts behind their actions. Political protests on both sides’ highlights the fact that this division brings out a vitriolic hatred for anyone with opposing views and we spend our days mired in hatred rather than the facts of an issue.

I have purposely not spoken about political issues here because it would take away from the message of the blog. Those who know me also know that I am deeply involved in the political process. This is why this blog has been somewhat neglected recently. Being positive and political at the same time is a difficult balance. It is not a balance I have mastered.

The mission of my political work is to bring people together to dialog about the issues that are important to each of us whether we realize it or not. Only by putting partisan hatred aside and beginning to speak and listen to each other will we be able to understand what is happening while we argue. There are destructive forces at work in the halls of the World’s governments which have nothing to do with Democrats and Republicans.

Do your best to look at every issue carefully and resist the temptation to draw a conclusion based on a letter following a person’s name. This message is not always well received when I speak but I know that as individuals, we are a lot more alike than different. Most of us want the best for all, leaving us the choice to remain mired in hatred or opening our minds to find common ground. The answers do not come from government, it comes from us. Propaganda that fits our ideals is still propaganda.

Accepting Yourself

How much of your own life have you missed? The simple act of living takes us away from so much of what lies underneath our surface self. Over the course of our lives, the world continuously thickens the shell around our true nature. Traumas from childhood, responsibility for others, money troubles, difficult relationships, etc… create the armor we build around ourselves thinking it will protect us from further harm. Sadly, much of this ends up shielding ourselves from ourselves, preventing us from being truly happy.


Our culture or perhaps human nature leads us to define ourselves based on external standards. Growing up you may have heard; “You should be more like him.” Or; “Why don’t you act more like her.” Inadvertently, this is often how the process of loosing ourselves begins. There is seldom any malice in the actions, just well intentioned caretakers trying to help us learn to fit into society. Those charged with caring for us, especially when we are young, are really just trying to save us from the pain of not fitting in to a highly structured culture.

I am not advocating anarchy or implying that societies do not need rules and certain social norms to function, they do. It is simply that by allowing ourselves to be blinded to our true nature through believing that we must be “just right” that we rob ourselves of our own love. Measuring up to the ridiculous stereotype of what we should be like, look like, act like, think like, is impossible. We all have flaws that cannot be simply airbrushed like a cover shot of a magazine.

Have you ever said to yourself, “I wish I was thinner, taller, faster, etc?” My guess is that everyone has at one point answered, yes. A yes answer does not make you abnormal. We all do this several times a day in one form or another. Our problems arise when we begin to identify ourselves with our faults rather than our true nature. “I’m an angry person.” “I’m a sad person.” “I’m a fat person.” Is this really all you are? None of these are who we are inside. Each is a condition that we have learned to identify ourselves with.

Self love and acceptance is the only way to find true inner happiness. How wonderful it would be to look at yourself and drop the negative story. Opening our heart to ourselves lets the light of the world shine into the spaces we have kept so dark. Self love is not narcissism. Narcissistic people use the false love of themselves as a defense against their inner suffering. True self love is not selfish.

An often quoted teaching of the Buddha reads; “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”.

A hint of winter

Overnight, Mother Nature left a hint that winter is just around the corner. I awoke this morning to see the trees blanketed with snow from an early season storm. Driving into my office to catch up on the pile of correspondence needing to be dealt with, I could not help being caught up in the wonder of how fast the seasons change.

Regardless of whether or not I am ready, winter is coming complete with snow shovels and ice melt. I am counting on the weather service to be correct in saying that the next few weeks will return the region to warmer weather allowing me to harvest some of nearly ripe tomatoes still hanging on the vines.

Embrace the changing seasons. Each has so much to offer us if we just pay attention. If you would like a little snow, I should have an entire driveway full ready for you to take in about a month. You can even use my shovel. :)

Missing Your Dreams

Most of us grow up imagining the great things we will accomplish in life. Perhaps you wanted to be a dancer, a painter, an athlete, a pilot, a singer, or a writer. The list is as vast as the individual's imagination. While few of us will ever have the opportunity to fulfill these dreams, does it make them any less important? The answer is no.

While we may not realize it, every childhood dream served a purpose. They allowed us to envision doing something greater than our situation might allow. Dreams open us to possibilities bigger than ourselves, leading us down roads we may never travel. Our childish dreams gave us a chance to see all the possibilities without the constraints that reality places on us as adults.

Our society places little importance on dreams. Adult thinking emphasizes responsibility based on tasks, considering imagination unimportant in landing a good job and making a living. The feedback we receive growing up often convinces us to abandon our vision of what others consider impossible. In the process, we lose so much of ourselves.

Growing up, my dreams and imaginations were as vast as the stars in a desert sky. They were my escape from a difficult and painful situation. Dreams allowed me to see a better world full of happiness and intrigue. One by one these dreams were compressed into a little ball named reality as the necessity of living replaced fantasy. For a long time I lived without dreams focusing on placing one foot in front of the other believing I had no choice in the path. I was wrong. Learning to dream again allowed me to see that I could walk around the roadblocks I saw in front of me.

As adults we have choices. We can blame our parents for smashing our dreams into little pieces, holding on to bitterness and resentment. We can blame our situation for not placing enough opportunities in front of us to allow these dreams to be realized. Hopefully, we will come to understand that our parents and others were trying to protect us from being disappointed since they too had childish dreams that went unfulfilled. They most often simply did not have the tools to guide us in the safest ways or the understanding that imagination is a healthy manifestation of a growing mind.

Regardless of how much we may have suffered from being told we would never be good enough to be the things we dreamed of, it is not too late to put this in the past. We cannot undo what is behind us. Forgive yourself for falling short of your goals to open up the possibilities of what you can become now. Allow yourself to dream again.

There is nothing wrong spending a little time with your head in the clouds. Go places in your mind. See yourself for whatever you want to be. Some things may be possible given enough effort. If you believe you can, go for it. Many things we dream of may not be within our reach. Providing that we do not cling to the impossible, we may find that our wildest dreams lead us to see possibilities we would have missed with our minds closed.

I believe I read it best some while back on Amanda Linehan's blog "Look Far, The Art of Self Awareness". "It's OK to have your head in the clouds as long as your feet are on the ground". Living in reality comes with being an adult. Imagination simply makes life more fun.

Dream!

The Changing Seasons

Often we do not have to travel far to witness the beauty that nature offers us. After weeks of putting it off, I climbed on my motorcycle yesterday to ride one of my favorite routes on the back roads through the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Soon these mountain passes will be closed as snow will blanket the landscape leaving them impassable.

I stopped first along a little stream called "Silver Creek" to listen to the water as it cascaded over the rocks making the music of life as it wound its way down the mountain. It is difficult not to feel peaceful as the water plays among the little twists and turns of the stream bed.

The little lake in the picture was my next stop. I was struck by the majesty of this place nestled in a little valley about 8600 feet above sea level. At this altitude, summer hides the harshness of winter as water lilies and mountain aspen wrap the landscape in green for a few months. The lake will soon freeze over and the flowers will lay dormant until the spring thaw wakes the spectacle once again.

Sitting for a long time along the shore, I was reminded of how impermanent so much of the cause of suffering really is. We can choose to view difficult situations as seasons rather than something permanent. Given enough time, the current season will pass, melting the snow and ice that covers our happiness, giving way to a new spring where the flowers and leaves once again fill us with joyfulness and peace.


Know that during the darkest times, our flowers and leaves are inside us waiting for the ice to thaw giving each of us a chance for a new beginning. Special places that remind us of this are often not far away. May you find your spot and be filled with peace.