Friday, April 2, 2010

Letting go of control (repost)

There are relatively very few things outside of ourselves that we have control over, yet we spend enormous amounts of emotional capital on things we cannot change. If we look closely we may find that this is nothing more than a way we distract ourselves from being present. By transmitting our energy onto something or someone else we push our minds away from whatever emotion we are feeling in the present moment.

Focusing on controlling the actions and thoughts of others moves us away from dealing with our own issues. We make the excuse, "I will deal with my problems once I fix theirs". In the end, this thinking comes with the risk of doing more harm to both ourselves and those we are focused on.

Much of the Buddhist practice is centered on letting go of the hindrances our minds cling to. Letting go of control is one of the most difficult tasks most practitioners face. We think we feel safe when we are in control yet the truth is that when we are controlling, pain and conflict are never far away.

Learn to let go. Peace comes from learning that we not only cannot control all the things and people around us, but also in the understanding that we do not need to. Next time you feel the urge to control someone, stop yourself and just observe. See what happens when you just let things happen.

As you practice letting go of control, you will start to realize how unimportant much of what has happened in the past really is. The things you held onto so tightly will reveal themselves as nothing more than stories built within our own mind. We will enjoy better relationships with all that is around us, letting us focus in the present moment where all happiness lives.

3 comments:

Shirley Maya said...

Sometimes it is not the most easy thing to do, but it is the most necessary thing to do...letting go. Very insightful sharing. Thank you.

Julie P said...

It's so hard to let go sometimes, Roger, isn't it! But what you say is so true. I spend too much of my valuable time going over past negative events that have occurred in my life and that has a knock on effect as when I recall those bad times they affect how I view my future and I wonder what else is going to happen!

It's a good job we can't see around corners - I wouldn't want to know what the future holds - good or bad. But if we are to learn and move forward from our past we have to leave the past behind and focus on the here and now - but as Shirley said, it's not the most easy thing to do. I agree with Shirley - it's neccessary.

Best wishes

Julie xx

A jewel shining through said...

Letting go is my theme for this year :) Best wishes, Julie

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