Saturday, February 7, 2009

If Only...

Six letters, two little words. Harmless and innocent by themselves combine to form a foundation of regret and suffering. If only I... If only he... If only she...

Somehow, either consciously or unconsciously we use these tiny words to justify our failure in achieving our dreams, our goals. Is this fair? Perhaps, sometimes. More often than not, these words simply shift the blame, making our shortcomings more palatable.

This is not to say that we are responsible for every failure and disappointment life hands us. Far from it. Life takes its toll on each of us, leaving only the choice of how we face each adversity. Transferring the responsibility for the choices we can control away from ourselves will not make things better.

Next time you catch yourself beginning a sentence with "If only...", allow yourself a gentle chuckle and replace the two little words with two other little words; "Why not". Why not me. Why not her. Why not him.

Six letters, two short words combined, empowering us to dream, to live more fully. We have but one chance in this life. Dream! Fly! Happiness may be as simple as two little words.

11 comments:

Teresa Silverthorn said...

Excellent...

Juliet said...

Hi

Turning something into a question also gives it some sort of action. Perhaps we'll then do something about the "why not"

Thanks for the suggestion

Juliet

Miss Attica said...

Like it ...

Vivi-Mari Carpelan said...

Glad you point out that we are not always at fault just because we had a bad experience - though how we deal with it is a different issue. :-)

codakiz said...

Changing from 'if only' to 'my situation in this moment is ideal for growth'----it's a leap with inner movement as an outcome.

Hazelmarie 'Mattie' Elliott said...

I've always tried to worry about the things I have control over...the things I can change. There is no point in worrying about things that cannot be undone. That is hard to do at times. The 'if only' always haunts us...no matter what.

Reasoning does not always bring self-satisfaction, but it does let us face reality.

Another thought-provoking post! Excellent work...Mattie

Brenda Lorene said...

To try and fail at some things is only human. If we try and are successful, then score a big One for ourselves; but if we do fail, why worry about the what if's? I prefer to move on to the next challenge. Life offers so many wonderful possibilities; I try very hard not to dwell on the negatives.

klahanie said...

Hi Roger,
"If Only"
I try not to use this all to often used statement. For what is done is done. I learn from the lessons that have transpired in my life and realise that a new day provides a new chance.
Another excellent blog Roger. Well done and I send you peaceful wishes. klahanie aka Gary.

The Buddhist Conservative said...

Thank you all for the comments. Sometimes I wonder if the words coming out of my head make sense to any one else.

Namaste

Lee Ann / Living Introverted said...

Thank you so much for this meaningful post. To often, we fall into the trap that those two words sets - "if only".

I've been guilty of it and this post is a wonderfully gentle reminder to open myself to new growth and hopefully a more solid understanding of "Why not?".

Lee Ann

dcrelief said...

Hi Roger and thank you for this post. Seems it is a great time for me to address: "if only". I've got so many of those in my head.
I'm going to rethink: "if only, why not?" Why not me at the beach? Yes. Thanks friend. Peace, Dixie